Today I remembered a girl I wrote a post about several months ago. She was tough from the outside but scared and alone from the inside.
She still had her childish naiveness about her than, the goofiness and that naughty smile - although it was overpowered at a time with fear and loneliness of the situation she was in which went from excitement to fear, and than back to greatest happiness and love, and then back to the worst kind of pain and a heartbreak.
This girl was a tough cookie, used to do all sorts of stupid things like: wrote love notes on post-its and sprinkled rose petals for a romantic evening, she worked hard and kept smile on her face all the time, loved to joke around and race down the street in heels, sang under the shower and walked around like a crazy person in the morning, more than anything else - she believed in true love and honesty, she put her 100% in it. But it wasn't enough.
I don't remember the last time I saw her. I heard she is doing really well. She still works a lot. She is still strong. There is a great looking guy who likes her and she just goes with a flow, maybe she gets married...without giving her heart in it. There is another guy who she likes - who is definitely a heartbreak potential.
If you look at her closely these days, you might notice that naughty spark in her smile once in a while, although she doesn't smile much anymore and is scared to ever take that chance again.
She gave up on believing in love, I guess this is the time of growing up when you realize that painful fact that relationships and marriage are just norms and expectations of the society and have nothing to do with lifetime long love and faithfulness. Just like you painfully realize that Santa never really existed and that when somebody dies, you will never see that person again.
...will prove her wrong...and she will be her kooky self again.
" I don't hate you. I am just disappointed you turned into everything you said you'd never be."