Today I started thinking about pillars, about my pillars. So I asked Google to ask Webster how to define a pillar. Webster defined pillar as:
1 a: a firm upright support for a superstructure : post b: a usually ornamental column or shaft ; especially : one standing alone for a monument
2 a: a supporting, integral, or upstanding member or part
3: a solid mass of coal, rock, or ore left standing to support a mine roof4: a body part that resembles a column
Okey…So having Webster confirm my theory I started to think of who/what is my pillar, my post, my column, my leader, my support, my base, my tower of strength…who or what is my rock?!
Once we are born we need a lot of nurture but not as much support, in our childhood we grow and develop on one firm, safe and solid pillar of our family. As we grow that pillar is not sufficient, our knowledge, curiosity and ambitions are growing as are we, this is when standing on only one (although strong and basic) pillar becomes insufficient, unstable and it limits the growth of our potential. This is when we self grow an additional pillar - we build friendships. This pillar is getting taller and stronger, with years it chips away one bit and grows by a two, but it mostly measures continuous growth.
Ok. So here we are, standing on the two strong pillars, balanced and steady, tall and strong. Next, we learn and grow more, we get wider and wider, want to keep growing and explore the life further. Slowly, we are stretching a bit much, our appetite and our needs grow, we become more confident and ambitiously wanting to grow a whole new unfamiliar pillar from the scratch.
Sometimes this means we are jeopardizing or just shaking up our two base posts, but we are adamant to do it and we try. It is scary, unfamiliar and new but we risk it and start building it.
We make a choice of a material we build it from, on its height and its position in regards to our base. But once we start building it we can’t stop until we finish it, because as we started to build it we have moved our core - our equilibrium, and we are not going to be balanced until it is finished. Each of us has to make one from the scratch sooner or later; the only difference is in the amount of the risk and the speed one is willing to take while building it.
There is one more pillar we build out of ambition, social expectations and necessity, this pillar is our work, career, our status…it is our desire to prove oneself in a certain discipline, prove oneself to society and to ourselves. This pillar is really just a mean to maintain a steady pace while building a whole new one, it is made of sand, we build it up much easier and faster than any other but it is also most fragile, even a breeze can blow it away, not to mention the earthquake!
…the one we build all by ourselves, from the scratch is always high risk and requires a whole lot of investment and promises nothing and gives everything- this is the pillar of love, relationship and later family…the pillar which you must build sooner or later…..its quality and endurance depends on a person you are building it with, material you are using and care you are maintaining it with. This is the pillar which will replace your base- the pillar of your family, once it naturally fades away.
Did you build your pillar? Or did you start building it, got scared, stopped and only thing you have left is the pillar made of sand? If this is the case, my dear you are a sinking Venezia.